Today my mind is wandering to the future. Many questions are whirling around in my head. Alot of them have come about as a result of the mission's conference last week. The need for workers in the fields is great. Each missionary, each field, made me ask, "Is that where one of my children will go?" In our flesh, in our physical world, at least in our family/home, we don't have much to give as far as money goes. Yes, our home is beautiful, glory to God, and it is a great gift of love from Him to us, but our home is more than just the painted walls, and furnishings. What we have to give is priceless. We have offered up our children for His use. Now I realize that their full surrender to God is a personal choice that they must make for themselves, but we as parents desire our children to be vessels fit for the Master's use. Our heart's desire is that God will take them and use them, and that not one of them would refuse Him. These thoughts have alot of emotions attatched to them. As a mom, in one way the last thing I want is for my children to go live in a distant land, and only visit with us every few years. I don't want to go to bed at night and wonder if my child is safe or being watched or taken to prison for preaching the glorious Gospel of Our LORD Jesus Christ. In my flesh, in the natural mother's heart, I don't want them to go very far from home, EVER. But with eternity in view, I want them to go for God without thought for dear old mom and dad. I want them to be consumed with Jesus. In fact, the last few months I have really begun to expect that in my golden years, if the LORD tarries that long, I will sit in my rocker, praying for my children, grandchildren, and maybe great-grandchildren, to stay by the stuff, to keep on for God, to fight the good fight, to finish the course, to reach for the prize of the high calling of God. My mind is set upon them all being far from me, and yet close to my heart. I am expecting them to be warriors and servants in distant lands, to go to the regions beyond and to say with all that in them is, "Here am I LORD send me" And if the LORD determines that they need not all go so far away to serve Him, then i will be extra blessed. I give up my children for the service of the KING of Glory-Jesus Christ. What more can I give? The other question that naturally follows, well several of them, are: when and where will they go? will they marry? who will they marry? when will this all come about? David is on the verge of marriage, Godwilling. What plans are in his future after that? We are so isolated, it is hard to keep my eyes of the practical issue of meeting prospective brides or grooms. Years ago I wrote to a precious sister about this matter. I told her that I believed that if necessary God would bring them to our front door-their car could break down, or asking for directions, or "accidentally" finding the wrong house. When I get a case of "how in the world will..." I remind myself of this...God's way are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts. He can do anything, nothing is impossible with Him. All we know is we want God's choice.When a family friend was about to marry, I began to fret, and wonder how we would ever be able to give our daughters wedding gowns and pull-off even a small wedding. This was going through my mind on a Tuesday as we drove home from town. Tuesday was the day that the clothes house was open (over the years we have gotten many items from them free of charge) so we decided to stop on the way. We ran in and then out pretty fast for us. But oddly enough they had a wedding dress that particular day. Never before had I seen one there. As we drove up the hill for home, I went on and on about the wedding dress, chiding myself for not getting it. After we unloaded the van, Bob told me to take Charity back and look at it again. Off we went. The wedding gown was still there. We carefully removed it from the hanger, and one of the workers came over and held it close to Charity. I looked like it would be a perfect fit. Then more of them workers gathered nearby, formed a circle and prayed for her. They GAVE us the dress! As we were leaving they asked when she was getting married. I just had to laugh as I told them, she didn't even have a "boyfriend". They were amazed, and yet happy to give the dress to her. To Charity, it seems to be a promise that one day she will need that gown.To me, that was more a blessing to me than to Charity, because I'd be wondering about buying all the things you'd need for a wedding. It was God's way of telling me, in a dear, loving, gentle way, "Terry, see, you don't have to worry about anything. I've got it all under control" During the missions conference, they had special sessions for just the ladies with the main speakers wife, Mrs. Ireland. She spoke on the topic of "Prodigals". I wasn't able to talk to her but she really helped me by repeating my own words back to me, though we have never met. But during her lesson she said something very profound. "Control is an illusion" God is the one at the controls, He allows things to occur for our good, and learning. The greatest thing I can do as a wife and mother is to stop trying to control anything and reliquish control to my great Father, who doeth all things well. The future of our family will be full of changes, the unexpected-good and bad, but God is in control. And we know His way is perfect.